"The best way to get something done is to begin."
Unknown
"Waiting is a trap. There will always be reasons to wait...The truth is, there are only two things in life, reasons and results, and reasons simply don't count."
Robert Anthony
"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."
William Penn
"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."
Don Marquis
"To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing."
Unknown
welcome to my world! now, it's not that i don't like to do the tasks that befall me...and i don't even like to refer to them as "tasks", per say.....however, when god was wiring my brain 38 years ago...he must have been deep in thought about something else, as he twisted and twisted my "decision making" wire far too tightly. oh the agony! the agony of completing the projects i love the most! everything has to be "right" and "perfect" and really, left with no room for a "better idea" or change. i would much rather not attempt or complete something that might speak about me, or my ideas, then throw something out that wasn't thoroughly thought through, hashed over, reviewed, and disected! oh! to live life on the edge! oh to open your cupboard and see that you are out of salt and head to the store to buy salt....no, i'll go days with bland food because how am i supposed to go to the store without my list? my list of EVERYTHING we need at THAT time, or MIGHT need tomorrow...and when am i going to have time to make that list? i don't. so i don't. so my eggs are dull in the morning.
i have files and files of favorite images that i've taken, but one day, yes, one day, i will know just how i want to edit them, or i will learn a new skill in photoshop that will improve that image beyond compare.....one day.....
the "drafts" portion of my email box is full. letters to people i admire. thank you notes, deserved letters of scolding, unanswered emails,.... love letters.
i have the most complete and informative blog i know of. it's insightful, emotive, revealing, vulnerable, humorous, and complete. unfortunately, only the path leading from my son's school to my home knows it's secrets. i write best early in the morning, or late at night when my brain is fresh or tapped. the edges of the day. (thanks jean :) i write in my head constantly - it's a neverending journal, and that's how i hear my thoughts. i dally to write on something called a "blog". i am turned off by ugly language. how do i put my inner most thoughts on something called a "blog" (lap your tongue out of your mouth as you say it). however, there is nothing more perfect for me, no better outlet than the invention of the ......
blog.........why do i resist it? because what i write right now in this moment, won't be what i would have wanted to write yesterday, or will want to write this evening.......so why write? yet....i have an insatiable need for people to know me or understand me......yet, i'm so insecure.
oh! it's all misery, really! i love that i have been tagged! i love that someone is prodding me to tell 'more'. this entry, this #1 of my beginning, is very much living on the edge for me...i've re read what i've written, and am not satisfied, but, i'm going to leave it as is. i'll probably start an addendum somewhere...a post it, a draft, in one of my various notebooks spread round the house and car. i'll have every intention of explaining away what might be perceived as a foul mood towards this project, hoping i didn't lead you astray as to how i really thought about it, or something more clever will come to mind, or i might find a better picture of kids playing tag, or........i'll decide that i'm tired of overusing the ellipses....who knows how long i'll sit on #2.....don't think for a moment that there's not a list, a discarded list, of 8 random things sitting in a pool of spaghettio sauce left from a makeshift dinner the night before...a dinner that was actually planned to be home made sausage and scalloped potatoes...but wait...did i really want to make scalloped potatoes with that? what was it that mom used to make with sausage? hmmm..couldn't remember, so opened a can of the "o's" instead, and headed out to finally complete the "blazing tutu on angry youth against backdrop of crusty volkswagon" shoot i've fought with in my head for a year.....
yes, #2 will be painful. i'm satisfied with that.
"Every duty which is bidden to wait returns with seven fresh duties at its back."
Charles Kingsley